When LouLou Sleeps........

Apocalyptic Rambling...

2010-11-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

Last night, nature reared its evil head and all hell broke loose. In my dream, sheet ice was everywhere, with lava flowing underneath. From time to time, a crack would form in the ice and lava would splash up. I was trying to help my mother across the street to safety. She was wearing a pink housecoat and slide on slippers. We were having a really difficult time navigating and time was of the essence. In the meantime, my cousin Susan was talking about how she liked the Blackberry and iPad that I have through work and was going with Mo and I to Venezuela. I questioned the wisdom of this trip to Venezuela and leaving the boys behind while the world came to an apparent end. Mo kept waving the fanned out airline tickets and saying, "Venezuela!" I pointed out that they were calling for severe storms and surges and tsunami like waves down the east coast (although, in my mind's eye, I was thinking that we needed to travel to Florida, which for some reason connected to Mexico and Central America).

We dashed into a Toys R Us and bought a toy fishing rod and a little boy, who was ice lava fishing, pulled up a 2' long fish made of compressed coral and yellow foam.

Next, we were dashing down the coast, and there were walls of waves rolling in. I ducked into an archway, formed from stone, coming out of a stone wall, and waves were crashing in around me as I hunkered in against the wall, hoping I'd be able to catch up with the others.

I don't have to look to far to know where all of this is coming from. Really.

Cruisin'....

2009-06-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

I have been entertaining the thought of taking a cruise at some point. I am, however, terrified of being out in the ocean. I am struggling with the concept, but when I was in Florida, I stood on the beach, looked out at the horizon and thought, "Shit! I can't go out there!"

That being said, last night, I dreamed about being on a cruise to Iceland. The boat was anchored not too far off the shore. I was on the deck. A MASSIVE wave, four stories or five stories high, formed. I watched it grow and thought that it would certainly crash down and smash the ship. However, right as it came near to the boat, it quietly slipped UNDER the ship and the boat barely rippled.

We went onto the shore and everyone was going to take a little shuttle boat ride. An Iceland native, an old man, hooked a cheesy set of seats to the back of the last row of seats and he drove this small boat contraption with separate rows of seats through a very cold canal system, a la Venice, to a series of shops in this town.

Blasts from the Past in Very Strange Settings...

2009-06-10T17:39:00.000-07:00

While on a trip to DC, I had a dream about being in a hotel. Two key people from my past were present. First, my dear friend, D, who spent much of his late teens hanging at our apartment in the 1980s, was there, wearing a bathrobe. When he flopped petulantly into a chair, the robe parted, revealing that he was wearing a peach silk, 1930s style negligee.

Also present was my college roomie, who had shaved her head, but it had scabby sores all over it. I was trying not to be grossed out, but I couldn't stop staring and wondering what had caused them.

Dude! Florida's Goin' Under!

2009-05-07T17:55:00.000-07:00

I had a very vivid dream last night about Florida...a place that I feel a little better about than before Disney. I was driving across the Skyway Bridge, but it was low to the water, more like the bridges on the way down to the Keys. There were waves lapping up over the sides of the bridge from both directions and cars were starting lose traction. I had a flashback to when I was 17 and I was trying to get across a little bridge in my Mustang and the water from the creek, which was high, nearly washed me off the bridge. I sped up and got across the bridge, finding myself on an island.

Everyone there seemed content with the knowledge that they were going to be flooded out in a very short period of time. I was questioning them about if we could get a plane in? Why not? They have planes that land on water! This happens all the time, there has to be a contingency plan! I was clearly not going down without a fight.

Everyone was just kind of wandering about, and the water was rising. Me? I was looking for a boat and calling for a plane.

All by myself.

They're serving duck for breakfast...

2009-02-15T05:20:00.000-08:00

You should know that I am an animal lover.....I love little baby critters and that is why last night was just so unnerving.

There was, near my work, a field that had a lot of grass that was pushed down and straw and I realized, that there were eggs hidden underneath that were hatching....there were yellow ducks and brown ducks...all just hatching out and trying to get out from under the grass that was covering them. So, I was trying to left the grass away, while talking baby talk to all of these little fuzzy ducks. I had moved down the way and realized that next to me was an orange tabby cat. I gently nudged it away, not wanting to be mean, but realizing the danger of having it there. It belched loudly, and smacked its lips. I was horrified, realizing that it had had breakfast....and then I realized that I was hearing a noise from under the straw near where I was sitting, so I pulled THAT back. There was a gray cat there. At this point, the field of ducklings generated all of the stress that sitting in a mine field would have done.

It wasn't all so cute any more. Da-da-da-daaaaaaaaaa. Ominous.

Food Service Worker?

2009-01-25T05:21:00.000-08:00

Last night, for some reason, I was doing some consultant work with a large group of Ninjas. There was an enemy faction that was planning to attack them and somehow I was the one who had come into possession of that information.

We were back in a very thick forest with a stream and vines all around and we were holding a dinner to get the good Ninjas together to discuss what should be done about the plan to randomly attack them (apparently this was to occur when they were traveling in small groups - like small packs of Ninja).

Of course, while I was trying to manage the logistics of this entire event, someone brought to me a sample of the cream cheese to show me that the packets had been left out for too long and it was getting watery - separating from not being kept cold enough. Yeah, because we all know that Ninja are ALL ABOUT the cream cheese.

Fin.

Crashin' My Neighbors -

2009-01-09T16:51:00.000-08:00

While my husband took my son to NC the weekend after Christmas, I took over the kid's job of feeding our neighbors' fish while they were in Europe. The disturbing Friday night dream was this:

In my pajamas, I wandered across the cul de sac and opened the neighbors' front door. It was much later than I had been feeding the fish, in fact, it was in the middle of the night. So, I opened the door and went in, and heard the beeping of the alarm system (which they do not have). At that time. Mr. Neighbor came downstairs in his pajamas, perturbed at my intrusion. He was firing off a lot of questions about why I was there and I tried to answer, but I was so tired - Frankly, my answers sounded like I was wasted. Mrs. Neighbor came down in her jammies, carrying a Vera Bradley bag, obviously hiding the valuables and cash from me.

I apologized for my confusion, citing that I wasn't aware that they were back yet and wandered back to my own house, freaking out at the horribly uncomfortable moment I had just had and wondering how I was going to deal with them going forward.

The plot for squirreled domination....

2008-12-05T17:49:00.000-08:00

There are squirrels and then....there are squirrels. Don't get me wrong. I've always been a fan of most varieties of rodents. Some of my best loved pets were rats. I've had squirrels that would come eat out of my hand and I used to get the little guys to follow me across Capital Square by making those little noises that they make to talk to each other.

So, last night, imagine my horror to learn that the squirrels have been working with some of the more vile, conniving humans to take over the world. These were large squirrels who were inebriated and laying about, in an intoxicated stupor, bloated and gaseous. I was pondering at how much work it had taken for them to get to the point where they COULD begin to take over civilization and then the train cars came.....the wooden train cars, not unlike cattle cars, that were going to haul us all away to detention areas.

And that is how my day began.

Haircuts and tats, not exfoliation!

2008-10-23T18:31:00.000-07:00

The last dream before getting up for the day was this:

I went to Chuck for a hair cut and he did his usual, "Let me surprise you!" thing. Oh, it was odd that in my dream that Chuck was Asian and kind of punk, but it was a dream, after all.

He cut bangs. He put some bright orange in streaks randomly and then, when too late, I realized that he had done a number of tattoos on the left side of my neck. Specifically, there were two red, sort of round-bottomed, red cartoon devils and a green Incredible Hulk, which came up onto my jaw-line. There was also something on the back of my neck...like a yin-yang sign and I was horrified to realize that Chuck could actually do this without me realizing it until it was too let.

What is THAT about?

My last dream of the night...

2008-10-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

I just woke up and wanted to write before the day dulls my recollection of this one -
I was fussing at my dear husband because the house that we had purchased was not only embarrassing for other people to see, but I was reluctant to come home. It was unfinished. In a horrible way. There were exposed beams and I was asking if we could put "stick on tile" on the floor AND the ceilling (yeah, that makes me sound like a real Martha Stewart").

I became annoyed and decided to go to my old adolescent haunt - The roller skating rink. There were a few people that I skated with back in the day, but several would't speak to me. I decided to put on my skates and just hit the rink, which is an intimidating thought. I put skates back on four years ago to take my son out for the first time and, although I did NOT fall and managed to hold him up, I have to say that I could not "cross over" or get any real speed going. Tragic.

THESE roller skates looked like pink Uggs with green trim and zipped up the front (zippers? oy vey!) and apparently I had been on quite a kick of not shaving my legs (what is it with all of these exfolliation dreams that I have!?) I was trying to stay under the radar and stuff the prolific leg hair INTO the skate so nobody would see.

Then, thanks to someone doing lawn work and firing up a portable generator across the street, I woke up.

Note to self: Shave your legs, LouLou!

LouLou Learns not to dodge the shaving...

2008-09-09T20:22:00.000-07:00

I don't have any idea where this comes from....

My last dream of the night was that I was running late for work and decided that I was passable and did not have to take the time to shave my legs. When I started to get dressed, I had the equivalent of brown Newfoundland hair (wavy like my dog's) on my thighs and I thought, "Oh shit! I can't go to work like THIS!" but I was all amazed and shinied out by the soft and wavy nature of the leg hair.

And then the alarm went off.

I got in the shower and shaved my legs.

Dreams when off the meds - very interesting

2008-09-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

My social network, it seems, became infested with former bosses who were just kind of rambling through a street scene, getting into cars and doing STUFF. Oh, there was nothing monumental. They were the bosses that I liked - but there was not dialogue. Just motion. Strange.

Swim Season is Here....

2008-06-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

so I happened to dream that I rather suddenly and unexpectly realized that I needed to get a Brazilian wax because - well - grooming clearly had not been a priority.

But I don't want to GO to my high school reunion...

2008-05-14T15:34:00.000-07:00

For the past two nights, I have had dreams about attending my high school reunion. As if that was not quite enough, last night I was planning activities, and not very wisely. When you think high school reunion, don't you think "Big Assed Slip and Slide set up next to the hotel?" Apparently, I do. It was all fine until I turned the water on and overfilled the area next to the Big-Assed-Slip-And-Slide and backed up to the lower edge of the first floor rooms' windows. I was just hoping to go unidentified. Now THAT may be more in line with my high school reunion philosophy.

Quick! Grab a Stake! No! Not a Steak! A Stake!

2008-05-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I killed vampires all night.....Oh, not the garden variety of vampires. They were old, young, kids, and the average stake did not work on these guys...Nosiree....I had to run them through with huge wooden (oak) two pronged steaks that looked like colonial forks - but much, much bigger.

John Waters' Hair Advice

2008-04-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Last night, I had a dream....all hinged on the real life fact that I had colored my hair Sunday night. After much consternation, I had decided to go lighter. When I was done, I found that my hair was the same....just a little more coppery.

So, when I went to sleep, I had a dream that I had walked into a salon in the mall (like I really do THAT) and was talking to them about the color and the possibility of going lighter. They were getting ready to close, but decided to let me have an appointment. I was so on the fence about the minimal range of color that they were proposing that they told me that a friend of mine wanted to see me. So, I wandered into a back room, where John Waters was getting a body wrap. He was very insistent that I should go lighter and then, as he was about to sit up and lose his towel, I woke myself up because - well - that's just more information than I want. Even in my sleep.

A melange of maniacal musings...

2008-02-19T18:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I haven't been writing down my dreams - mainly because I haven't remembered them. And time. I should mention that time has been at a premium.

First, Paulie told me to dream lottery numbers. This was late last week. At 3 in the morning, I had made a quick trip to the water closet and, as I walked back into the bedroom, it hit me -

The last dream I had before getting up involved me looking at an alarm clock that had RED numbers - which is peculiar because my alarm clock has GREEN numbers. The RED clock said 7:30

So, upon exiting the loo, I said, "Paul - remember 7.......30. Got that? 7.....30"

I'm sorry that I don't dream ALL of the winning lottery numbers but I did in fact hit two. 7......30

Then, I had a dream that we got the call that "The babies are in!" We went to some daycare chain and were instructed to wait until the daytime clients were all gone. When the last one staggered out the door with their little charge in hand, the worker said, "They're here!" and handed me a very ruffly dressed little girl.

I usually have good dreams - detailed dreams - but every night I'm fighting (in my stressed out head) with these damned adoption workers. I'll have to try harder to remember - and chronicle - the late night drama.

Teal!

2008-01-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

Last night was a colorful mess.

I was moving into a new office and my furniture had arrived. It was TEAL.....the delivery man said that it was my furniture, but every time he went to move it, a pile of peas, carrots and green beans would fall onto the carpet. I was scurrying around behind him trying to clean it up.

Now what does THAT mean?

The bluebird of happiness...

2007-12-31T20:26:00.000-08:00

Last night, I had a dream that a bird was caught in the hedge outside the front door. When I went to help it, I realized I was holding the Bluebird of Happiness.
And I was awestruck.

Kiss of Death....

2007-12-29T18:09:00.000-08:00

Many years ago, while my friend "D" was battling his final days with AIDS, I had a dream that I was at a cocktail party. D walked into the room, came up to me with a small smile, kissed my right cheek and said, in that way that he had, "Hon, I just came to say goodbye." I learned a few days later that he had died.

Last night, I had a dream that I was at a function, and my old friend V was sitting on a bench, wearing a very tacky pink dress and black shoes. I noticed that her feet were swollen and poofing out over the top of her shoes. She called me over and I leaned down to give her a hug. She kissed my cheek and I woke up.

This, of course, was very disconcerting because I know that functions with cocktails and cheek kissing has not historically bode well for the subject of the dream.

I lost touch with V. She suffers from being bipolar and we had several times when she would lash out. I learned via a telephone call from the hospital that I had power of attorney for her and she had overdosed. I sped off to the emergency room and spent the night watching as she aspirated, hospital equipment sounding off and no nurses to be found. After that, knowing that she had reunited with her daughters, I faded out of the picture. I heard she had made another attempt on her life. I miss her and am terribly worried about her wellbeing, but am afraid to write - afraid of what will come out of it.

No need to look for meaning in one of these....

2007-12-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

If you read my other blog, you will know that I have had days of arguing with my boy child about doing homework and being organized. It has been an endless exercise in futility.

Last night, I had a dream that Ben was in Catholic school and they had a great vo-tech program. So, he was supposed to learn to work with this machine, not unlike the candy machine in the wonderful I Love Lucy episode. The belt started turning and he was supposed to remember who had ordered a snow cone (and what flavor) and who ordered cotton candy, and fill the order. He couldn't remember and he didn't understand that additional items came out that he was supposed to bag and put in the freezer. I was trying to tell him how to do it, but it was clear that he didn't really give a rat's ass about it.

******************************************************8
And then I had a second, bonus feature!

Mo and a group of people were traveling and told me to come along, which I did. Of course we got THERE and I realized that I did not have a passport. I told them, and there was much shushing as we went through the turnstiles. I had a fleeting thought that went something like this:

OH MY GOSH! I GOT HERE WITHOUT A PASSPORT, BUT HOW DO I GET BACK????

And in my heart of hearts, I knew that I wasn't in Canada or Zimbabwe or France...It was more like Texas or New Jersey......

And then I woke up.

Triple header...

2007-11-28T18:24:00.000-08:00

First, let's start with cooking. I was cooking Geoducks....baskets and baskets of geoducks, which needed to be sliced up and sauteed. Why do I even now about geoducks? I am a big fan of "Dirty Jobs" - I remember watching a home show with Mike Rowe and found him to be particularly annoying, but now I'm all about the Dirty Jobs.

Then, I had a dream about a friend of mine here in Richmond who works for the State Government (can you say Governor's office of budget stuff?) - I haven't seen him since I moved back here, but in my dream, he was wearing a Marine officer's uniform and was in a divey restaurant. There was some super spy stuff going on and he made it clear that he wanted to talk to me but we needed to catch up after he had finished the bit of intrigue he was currently involved in.

Lastly, I hear noises in the house, only to find that my sister, intoxicated, had broken into our house and was wandering around, talking incoherently. I informed her that I didn't want her here and was trying to get her out of the house, but it was like hearding cats.

I woke up. Paranoid.

The special study at sea program that left me puking into the cat's bowl.

2007-11-04T17:33:00.001-08:00

Last night I changed the white noise du jour on my handy dandy Brookstone-Drown-Out-Your-Husband's-Snoring-Machine. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, change from the SLEEP category and cross over into the RENEW category.....and BY ALL MEANS - stay away from the "Meditate" sound.

Why?

Because you could have a dream like this:

We, as a family, are apparently on some shipboard learning excursion. The women are wearing very turn of the century dresses, as a typical captain's wife would wear. Nothing fancy. Jennifer Aniston hands out tests on bright pink paper and I am in a panic about not knowing there would be a test. However, I go through it and turn in my paper. I wait around, wander around....and finally I see Jennifer Aniston walking on deck. I ask, bewildered, when I would learn my grade. She shrugged and said that they never really graded them...but the testing was mandatory to complete the program.

There is a large tank and everyone was excitingly pointing out that there were three dolphins and it was a very important event, indicative of _______ - yet nobody really clarified what it meant!

Then, up swam a small white beluga whale, and I fell into the water and all I could think of was that my dress was very heavy and I would have a hard time getting out...and people were wandering off....but a little person - an older man in a blue uniform with a little navy cap with a bill, helped me out. I was so rattled that I rolled over and vomited into the cat's bowl.

And that was the end of that.....

LouLou Goes Job Hunting

2007-10-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

With great trepidation, I was job hunting, knowing that I had wanted to stay with the company for which I work because of its values, but tired of working hard and being repeatedly screwed over.

LouLou Really Hates Country Themed Stuff

2007-10-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

I need to preface this dream with the statement that I really hate country themed things........and somehow, this made its way into a dream....

I was working as a detective, trying to find a serial killer who murdered his victim or victims and then posed them in a tableau around a country themed sign. The one in my dream was the "Live. Laugh. Love." sign.......and there were two bodies posed together. The one was posed with her head thrown back laughing and the scene was very gory.

There was a reference to a previous murder based on another sign, but thankfully I didn't remember that one. Thank goodness. One country plaque per dream is more than enough.

The Subdivision......

2007-10-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Our house was in a subdivision that was not unlike where we lived from 1963-1972, when I was a kid. The subdivision, named Loch Lomond, is located in Manassas Virginia and was a hotbed of little brick and board cape cods on wee tiny lots. In my dream, we lived in this subdivision and our neighbors were not unlike the guests at the barbeque in Edward Scissorhands. I walked into the bathroom, which was a brick turret and I looked around the bottom of the room and there were little glass windows, tall and narrow, around the bottom. One was full of long, vertical "holes" which were stuffed with pieces of cardboard. I remember thinking that I was frustrated with Paul because clearly this came about from him throwing a rock when he mowed the grass.

That's about the gist of it. I have no idea where it came from.

Commadores Everywhere

2007-10-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

Oh, my wacky, computer obsessed father fell into my dream sequence and melded himself right in there with my anxiety over the performance management software that I am the contact person/troubleshooter/den mother for at work. Issues? Oh, imagine that the person who loads the data file in Excel loaded it with an error and all supervisors and employees were mismatched. Immediately upon discovery, she corrected the error and reloaded the file but now, in the middle of year end reviews and objective setting, on a buried enroute form tracking page, all of the bogus employees' year end review forms appear. Oh, and because the forms touched those peoples' boxes for just a few minutes, they remain in that enroute file, undeletable, and accessible for reading by the person who isn't really their manager. Nightmare of nightmares.

So this infiltrates my dream so that:

I go to my parents' home and my father has a Commadore computer sitting on the table. He isn't there, but my mother tells me that he has too many files and something is wrong with the computer. Their neighbor, Gene, has an old Commadore that he has offered to Dad, but I realize that the problem is probably a matter of him having too much crap on his hard drive. So, I sign in and find that there are various glitches with the monitor and the hard drive and there are odd files that get created that say: "The Monitor says:" and then a list of files that were created by the monitor (WTF?) follow...or "The CPU says:" and a list of files related to that are listed. I start saying that my father is holding onto travel reimbursement forms from before he retired and nobody can tell me why he is holding onto all of this old information.

My frustration, throughout this process, is building, and then - voila! I wake up.

The blasts from the past keep on comin'

2007-10-08T17:55:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was visiting DC (formerly SC) - Mo's GBF from the 80s. He had a sleek loft full of oak floors and trim. It was a room accented with rich colored rugs and contemporary art. There weren't ROOMS, per se. Rather, there were funky walls with very square openings cut into them. There were five sleeping areas....all very different and, although I was a little perturbed by the lack of privacy, well, the home WORKED. I was walking through, looking around and at the last area, there was a skeezy, scruffy, thin young man in Army fatigues sitting on a carpet covered cube (a la the OLD 9:30 Club) and he was watching TV. He informed me that he was DC's roomie, which struck me as wrong, because I knew DC was married.

I haven't seen DC since around 1987 or so....We have recently emailed...but this one came right out of nowhere.

Edinburghian Purple Glitter Gloves

2007-10-07T17:46:00.000-07:00

In my dream, my college roomie, PP and I were walking through this town that can best be described as being very much like photos that I have seen of Edinburgh. The road was winding downhill and there was a stone wall. She was wearing purple gloves with silver sparkles.

I was saying how she needed to let the girls know that I could not afford to rent a house so I was going to have to live in the dorm. She announced that she had just purchased a drum kit. I asked where she planned to put it in a dorm. She was happy to say it could go in the common living area. I knew that, from the dorm window, I could see Joanie on the Pony at Longwood University.

Whazzup with THAT?

Sammy Lou the Vampire

2007-10-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

The other night, I came to the horrible realization that my formerly loving house cat, Sammy Lou Honey May, had become a vampire cat and was gnawing on my left thumb. It hurt. It was annoying and yet I could NOT wake up.

Of course, when I DID wake up, I realized that the dreaded pug was snuggled next to me and was chewing on my fingers to speed the early morning outside and breakfast process.

That one with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress...That one with the blue dress on.

2007-09-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

Why, oh why, did I go to work in a blue silk nightgown? It was too short. I knew that my back tattoo was hanging out and we had a lot of visitors in the office - I have a beige sweater that I keep at work for those days that are cold, but I realized that the nightgown was very short and - well - the sweater wouldn't cover the lower half.

I was hoping to jump on the subway when my boss went into a meeting, head home and change because I realized that I was grossly underdressed for work and my tattoo was hanging out - not something that I allow to happen in the office.

Moseydotes looked up that key components in this dream reflect that it was, in fact, my "off" weekend - I wasn't going to do a lot - and questions about relationships. I am hoping that I remember to put a suit on tomorrow before jumping in my car. No subways here!

Don't take that crap, Mosey!

2007-09-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

The setting of my last dream last night was my old subdivision in Manassas, Virginia, where my parents proudly bought their first home. This simple, three bedroom, two bath cape cod, was our home for eight years.

So, Paulie, The Boy and I were living in that house, and Mosey and her family were living in the house formerly owned by Bill and Deanna S. Two doors down. On a particular morning, I went down to Mosey's house and was appalled to learn that a female family member, who was identified as being one year younger than my godson, had been taken in. She was surly. She would be told to do something and would then talk back, in a very snide tone. Mosey, in a highly uncharacteristic manner, just took it. I went out to my car, which was my white and blue Mustang II from high school. As I started the car to return to my house, which was TWO FREAKIN' DOORS AWAY, the girl family member popped up from one of the seats. I promptly started to tell her that she was NOT to treat Mo that way, that she needed to be respectful and knock off the attitude. Then I told her to GET OUT OF THE CAR. She didn't move, so I hit the horn. Paul then popped up from behind the seat (SO MUCH POPPING OUT FROM BEHIND SEATS IN SUCH A LITTLE CAR!) and told me to STOP IT because it was Sunday morning and I would wake up and piss off the neighbors.

And then I woke up to realize I had turned my alarm clock off and it was 7 a.m. - meaning I would be late for work if I didn't MOVE IT.

Falling through the ice, meteor showers and a crazy reenactment occur as the stock market dies.

2007-09-26T06:54:00.001-07:00

Last night was a dream that soared in as I had relegated myself to accept that I could no longer remember my dreams...the ironic price for deciding to journal them.

Paul, Ben and I were attending a Revolutionary War reenactment, along with our former group's captain (Scott) and others....We were on some remote farm, laid out somewhat like the crazy farm I lived on in 1985-1986. We were going to turn in for the night, sleeping under the stars, rather than in tents, but we were forwarned by Scott that at 1 a.m. exactly, there were going to be meteor showers, punctuated by periods of snow. His recommendation was that we sleep in the barn. There was a bathroom in the barn and another in the farm house, should anyone need it. I was going to hit the loo before turning in. Ben had one of the irons with a handle are that they use in curling and was sliding it across rather brownish ice that was on a small pond. He went to retrieve it and fell into a hole in the ice. I had tried to warn him because - well - it was a HOLE that wasn't fully iced over (and why didn't HE see it?) - I called for help, but the men were all just standing around, talking and oblivious, so I went onto the ice the grabbed him.

At that point, Scott took a call on his cell phone (a big time reenacting no-no) and announced that his buddy had just called and the stock market was DEAD. Did we not understand? It hadn't crashed, it had DIED.........

I woke up with significant anxiety about living in another Great Depression.

Work anxiety takes a flashback sideroad

2007-09-24T17:02:00.000-07:00

I am working for the Army again and I clearly, at least in my subconscious, remember rank insignia because a Lieutenant Colonel comes out of his office. I have been called there to help him out on personnel review forms. He is mumbling and asking questions that make no sense. Either I cannot hear what he is saying OR he is placing words together that make nonsensical, Jabberwocky like questions.

I am freaking out because I'm trying to help everyone but how do I help this officer who is speaking like Hunter S. Thompson strung out on peyote?

And that is, in real life, how my day went today.

Boss Bashing....

2007-09-13T20:21:00.000-07:00

So, my boss, whom I adore, were having a clash (which we just don't do). We were red faced and screaming at each other. We were having a highly heated "He said/she said" and "Who didn't do it?" dialogue.

Why? We've not met as often as we should and we both have acknowledged a disconnect as of late. In real life, we resolved it by committing to not blow off our weekly update meetings.

We NEVER have hissy fits or scream. This was just silly.

Tickling the Ivories.....

2007-09-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

I had a dream that my sister's dentures arrived and she came by my office to show me. The odd thing was that they looked nothing like her own teeth. I kept saying, "Oh, you look so pretty!" and she did! However, I could not get past the fact that the bottom edges looked like the shapes made by the edges of piano keys. No matter how I wanted to smaile and say how good they looked, I could only stare with a look of total bewilderment.

Water, Water Everywhere

2007-09-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

So often we dream of fast moving water, water that cuts us off from a destination or people, but last night was different.

Inconvenient water.

I was at a house that was supposed to be mine and Paul's - and there was a room with a stone fireplace that was a walk in styled fireplace with arch...and the stone wall continued to a bookshelf made in the stone. Water was trickling - in a fine spray, not unlike the vegetable focused rainstorm in the local grocery. Then, I was pointing out to Paul that we needed to put the cover on our inground pool because Labor Day was over...and we walked underneath the pool, where a stone manmade stone cavern was located. In the cavern, water was raining down.

We went inside, to the living room. Paul and his brother, Mo and I were there. The boys were playing. A red sprinkler was plugged into the wall. It started, slowly spinning, waiting to pick up speed, and my mother walked in and said, in this wonderfully flat delivery she has for this phrase:

"Oh good God. WHO plugged in the sprinkler?"

And, of course, we know how one needs to have their watering system attached to an electrical outlet. Uh huh.

What the heck does THAT mean???

The Ghosts of Workplaces Past

2007-09-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

Last night, I was supposed to go to a meeting with Chris, Tricia and Kim and I was having some of my meeting anxiety and didn't want to go, so I hemmed and hawed and indicated that I could be there the next day. In the back of my mind, I knew that I did not have a good reason not to attend, other than I didn't want to on that day.

In the meantime, my old boss was at a conference that I was attending and despite that, in real life, I had just seen her last week and she was calm and relaxed and wonderful, she was hyper and poking people to sustain their attention and babbling. We were standing in a line and I was talking to a nun in a grey habit, who had two women religious in line with her, and she heard the name of a familiar organization. Suddenly, my old boss grabbed the nun by the wrist and started grilliner her with operational questions and I stood by, embarrassed.

What is THAT all about?

The Oh-So-Wee Yorkshire Terrier

2007-09-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

Paulie, Moseydotes and I were at this amusement park like place (not unlike a somewhat run down version of Busch Gardens) with winding streets and buildings containing shops. There was standing water in puddles on the ground and there, near a fountain, I found the Oh-So-Wee Yorkshire Terrier. It was only about 5" long and it fit in my hand. It was cold and wet and sending out the signal that it was lost. I picked it up, and asked information if anyone had reported it, but nobody had. I had to pick Benjamin up in 20 minutes at Miss Kathie's (his babysitter from when he was 3 months old until he went to pre-school at 4) and knew I would be late. I asked around to see if anyone had lost it, my frantic state increasing as I realized that I had to pick up my son and my real dog, Maggie, would eat this little tidbit of a canine.

I drove off to get Ben and went back to the place to try to find the security office because, suddenly, the dog was wearing a light blue baseball hat that said "I (heart) St. Lawrenceville" - which I knew would place him with SOMEBODY who must be looking for him because he was, in fact, Oh-So-Wee. I got to the security office, wearing my green bathrobe that the dog had apparently exploded all over in the car (the little rat could have let me know he needed to go!) - and I was informed by a passerby that the police had been given my license plate number and description (of the white and blue Mustang II that I had in high school) so that I could be located.

I was particularly upset that I was out on a police report since I was trying to do the right thing and return the dog, which I kept insisting to everyone I met that my real dog would eat if given the opportunity.

Dogs, apparently, were the topic of the day yesterday.

The Persistent Forces of Evil....

2007-08-30T18:30:00.001-07:00

Last night I spent the entire night fighting an entire group of nasty fellows with evil powers...and no matter what I did, I kept finding myself in skanky rooms that were cluttered and all in grey, black and blue-tones.....

Each time I thought I was getting away, I got caught.

So, we had stress with minimal color. Never a good thing.

Running up my credit card bill on five for $5 pizzas...

2007-08-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

So, last night, I was very happy that people at work really liked me, and so I wanted to do something special for them. I invited them to my house after work and realized that I needed to have something for dinner since they were arriving at 6:30. Moseydotes, always my voice of reason, suggested something easy and my husband - always frugal - suggested going to a place where they had five for $5 pizzas.

The three of us asked one person to cover for me and we zoomed off to this pizza place. Paul wanted to take back only pepperoni and cheese pizzas, but I felt it important to provide more than two choices. We were going to have 40 people and wanted to have a lot of pizzas....Mo wanted me to put out white pizza, but it had spinach in it and I had to nix that idea.

We were driving a Ford Pinto.

I went to pay for the pizzas and it was $65 dollars...so I debated using my company credit card, but since it was really a personal expense, because they liked me, I decided to put it on my personal card. Go figure. It was a gold card. And it was paper, like the weight of an insurance card or Social Security card. Mo looked and assured me that although it should have expired after seven days, being a paper card, mine did not have the expiration date, so I was in luck.

We got the pizzas, zoomed back to the party at my house and one of the invitees was asking who I was, which made me puzzled because everyone there was invited, supposedly, because they liked me.

Then, I woke up.

She's Got a Ticket to Ride...

2007-08-22T19:35:00.000-07:00

Now this is where I have to shake my head and ask:

What the heck is THIS all about?

I am at my house, and my parents are visiting. We are talking about how well my sister is doing and how proud we are of how she has settled into a new life here in Richmond and really gotten herself together. The news is on the television and there is a red truck with the tailgate down and some guy is saying:

"Well, I work with her and I know that she likes to hitch rides with people and well - she's really nice, so I'd rather give her a ride than have her get one with someone that may not be cool, ya know?"

Then the camera pulls back and he moves the truck forward and there is my sister, sitting on the back, swinging her legs, waving and smiling like a homecoming queen on a school float.

We are taken aback, and I change the channel because I don't want my mother to have any stress and there it is again, but this is a different vehicle, in a town square type setting with my sister, being described as being well known for hitch-hiking around the city - a local character that people know and drive around. Every channel had a story on my now famous sibling, who was just cheerful and hamming it up for the camera (which is ridiculous since my sister is really very quiet in a busy setting and a little uncomfortable - the furthest thing from a ham that you could have).

And then, LouLou catapulted back into reality at 7:06 a.m. -

Monday Night Monkey Madness...

2007-08-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

So, last night:

I am at some resort/camp place and I'm getting a shower - The shower is a small room, with a half door. I am suddenly confronted with a monkey that gets on the edge of the door and is in my space...making monkey faces and being all wound up. So, I tell Mo, who is there, that there is a place where I suspect that the monkey escaped from. Of course, the monkey, who is some form of a macaque, is aping me. Yeah. Bad monkey pun.

So, Mo and Paul and I have the monkey and are in a car. Paul drives. Mo and I are in the back seat, and the macaque is on the headrest, being pushy. Oh, he puts my wrist in his mouth, but doesn't bite, but he just wants to make the point that he could.

We drive up to a chain link fence and, behind the fence are three different houses - a ranch style, an old yellow victorian and a 1940s style bungalow. This is where the people keep all of the animals. THIS is where the macaque has come from.

We sneak in. We get into one of the buildings and there is a door with a glass panel. Inside are all kinds of monkeys - about ten of them. They all have little wee beds, low to the ground - cute little white painted country style beds with quilts made of brightly colored squares. There is a night light on in the room and I can see the the bad little monkeys are not in their beds. Oh no. The little monsters are running around the room being bad, except for one older monkey, like a gold colored Japanese snow monkey, who is just sitting on the floor looking annoyed.

And then, Loulou wakes up.

...and the Board votes "No"

2007-08-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

...and then last night....

The Vice President of Human Resources stopped me in the hall to tell me that the Board had voted down the reorganization of our department and the creation of a job that I was to move into. I was hopping, spitting mad - Rumplestiltzkin like in nature. I indicated that I was absolutely too angry to even discuss it.
LouLou has no job prospects....
And then I woke up.

Secret Agent Girl....

2007-08-19T16:33:00.000-07:00

The dream opens and Moseydotes and I are girl spies. We are taking a train and we are shown into the train cabin, which is green plastic and capsule shaped - not unlike a Porta-Potty. It has a porta potty in it which, upon entry, I note could be used as a form of escape if necessary. A very unpleasant form of escape, but a form of escape none the less. It was very, very clean though, as if brand new.

So, there I was about to tell Mo that we could get out, when a woman opened the door and showed another woman to our cabin, which meant that I couldn't talk about spying or escaping...and nearly everyone else was Asian. So, we knew that we needed to blend in, which was hard to do as Caucasians who were in Asian territory. So, we decided to try to do our make up to try to look less Caucasian and I was digging in my purse where I had a rose colored and a red lipstick pencil. I had a compact, but when we tried to use the powder, it made our faces sky blue, which despite concealing our features, it made us stand out in a bad way, so we had to wipe it off.

Alas, there was a television screen in the cabin and we realized we were going to be on some form of a game show, but one that was none too nice...so heavily made up like geishas we ran out of the cabin when the door opened an proceeded down the hall that we were shown. About 4" of water stood on the floor and the hallway had many corners and turns. We were armed with a small bottle of hairspray. Wait! I had no lighter with which to make a flame thrower because this was no normal game show - this was something like Ninja Warrior with no holds barred....and although people were smiling when coming our way, there was nothing nice about it. One woman was really trying to kick my ass, so I lifted her with a big gold pike like thing that I conveniently found along the way and hung her by her dress strap on a wall sconce with two candles on each fixture. While running like rats in a maze in the designated direction, we knew that when it came time to go down the water slide, we were going to be recognized because THAT was where the camera zoomed in.

And then I woke up.

Footnote: Mo rarely speaks when she crashes a dream because I can't replicate her inside my head. She is inimitable, which is apparently a word that she can't say.